5 Signs You're Navigating a Stuck Season (And Why They're More Common Than You Think)

You're holding it all together, but beneath the surface something feels off. You're in the overlooked middle—not in crisis, but not thriving. Here are 5 signs you might be navigating a stuck season, and why they're more common during midlife than you think.

Recognizing the Subtle Shifts That Signal It's Time to Pause and Tend

If you're reading this, chances are you're someone who holds it all together—at work, at home, in your community. On paper, life is "fine." But beneath the surface, you might sense a quiet misalignment, a persistent fatigue, or a longing for something more, even if you can't quite name it.

You're not in crisis, but you're not thriving either. You're in the overlooked middle—a space where clarity, confidence, or motivation has quietly eroded, and the usual self-help solutions feel too loud, too fast, or just not for you.

The truth? You're not alone, and you're not broken. You're in a natural, often overlooked transition—one that deserves to be honored with gentleness and understanding, not fixed or pushed through. Here are five signs that you might be navigating what we call a "stuck season," and why these experiences are particularly common during midlife transitions.

1. Autopilot Syndrome: Moving Without Arriving

You wake up, move through your day, check the boxes, and repeat. You're present for everyone else, but somewhere along the way, you stopped arriving for yourself. Life feels like a series of tasks, not experiences. If you've noticed that your days blur together or that you can't remember the last time you felt truly awake, you might be living on autopilot.

Why This Happens in Midlife

Research from the American Psychological Association and recent work by Dr. Mary Claire Haver highlight that midlife women often experience cognitive weariness and emotional exhaustion, especially during menopause, which can lead to a sense of "living on autopilot" and feeling disconnected from oneself.

The hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause affect not just physical symptoms but also executive function—the brain's ability to plan, make decisions, and stay present. When your brain is using extra resources just to maintain baseline function, autopilot becomes a survival mechanism, not a character flaw.

What You Might Notice

• Days feel repetitive and unmemorable
• You can't recall what you did last Tuesday (or yesterday)
• You're physically present but mentally elsewhere
• Routines that once felt grounding now feel numbing
• You perform tasks without really thinking about them

Gentle Reflection

Where in your life are you moving without truly arriving? What would it feel like to pause—even for just a moment—and simply be, rather than do?

2. Invisible Exhaustion: Tired, But Not Just From Doing

It's not just physical tiredness—it's a soul-deep fatigue that no amount of sleep or vacation seems to fix. You're carrying invisible loads: emotional labor, unspoken worries, the weight of others' expectations. You may find yourself thinking, "Why am I so tired all the time?" but the answer isn't just about rest—it's about restoration.

Why This Happens in Midlife

Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause directly affect energy levels, sleep quality, and cognitive capacity. The World Health Organization recognizes burnout as an "occupational phenomenon," but for women in midlife, burnout often intersects with untreated perimenopause symptoms, creating compounding exhaustion.

Additionally, midlife often coincides with peak caregiving responsibilities—aging parents, adolescent or young adult children, demanding careers. The invisible labor of managing these multiple roles takes a toll that isn't always visible or acknowledged.

What You Might Notice

• Sleep doesn't restore your energy
• You feel tired even on "easy" days
• Rest feels impossible, not restorative
• You're exhausted by things that didn't used to drain you
• Your fatigue has an emotional quality to it

Gentle Reflection

What drains your energy most? Are there habits, obligations, or patterns that leave you feeling depleted, even when you're not physically "doing" much? What would true restoration look like for you right now?

3. Muted Joy: When Even Good Things Feel Flat

You notice that things you used to love—hobbies, friendships, even small pleasures—don't spark the same joy. You might feel guilty for not feeling more grateful, or wonder if you're just "in a funk." But muted joy is often a sign that your internal landscape needs tending, not that you're ungrateful or broken.

Why This Happens in Midlife

Declining estrogen affects neurotransmitter production—including dopamine and serotonin, which regulate mood and pleasure response. This isn't just "feeling down"—it's neurochemistry that can be addressed.

Research shows that up to 75% of women experience mood changes during perimenopause, including a dampened capacity for pleasure and joy. This isn't depression in the clinical sense for everyone, but it's a real shift in how your brain processes rewarding experiences.

What You Might Notice

• Activities you loved feel like obligations
• Nothing sounds appealing or exciting
• You feel guilty for not feeling happier
• You're going through the motions of joy without feeling it
• You wonder if something is fundamentally wrong with you

Gentle Reflection

What activities used to bring you lightness? Where could you gently invite more play or pleasure into your days—not as another task to accomplish, but as an experiment in reconnecting with what feels good?

4. Overwhelm Paradox: Too Much, Yet Not Enough

You're busy, but not fulfilled. Your calendar is packed, but your heart feels empty. You might be managing a thousand details, but the big picture—the sense of meaning or direction—feels missing. This paradox is common among high-capacity women who are used to over-functioning for others.

Why This Happens in Midlife

Brain fog makes task management harder while decreasing your capacity to filter what actually matters. You're working harder to accomplish the same amount, leaving no bandwidth for meaning-making or bigger-picture thinking.

Additionally, midlife often brings a natural questioning of priorities and purpose. What felt meaningful in your 30s might not feel the same in your 40s and 50s. This isn't failure—it's evolution.

What You Might Notice

• Your calendar is full but your soul feels empty
• You're productive but not satisfied
• You can't remember the last time you felt purposeful
• Details consume you while meaning eludes you
• You're busy managing life but not actually living it

Gentle Reflection

What feels like too much right now? And beneath all that overwhelm, what do you truly need? If you could release one obligation without consequence, what would it be?

5. Disconnection Drift: Losing Touch With Your Own Voice

You're known as the reliable one, the fixer, the leader. But somewhere along the way, you lost touch with your own needs, desires, or dreams. You might feel invisible—not because others don't see you, but because you've stopped seeing yourself. This drift is subtle but powerful, and it's often the root of feeling quietly stuck.

Why This Happens in Midlife

When basic cognitive function takes effort (thanks, brain fog), deeper self-reflection feels impossible. You're using all your processing power just to get through the day—there's nothing left for identity work or introspection.

Additionally, midlife women often reach a point where the roles they've been performing (caregiver, professional, partner) have crowded out the space for asking "What do I actually want?" This isn't selfish—it's a natural and necessary question at this life stage.

What You Might Notice

• You struggle to answer "What do you want?"
• You've become so attuned to others' needs that yours feel foreign
• You feel like you're performing a role rather than living your life
• You can't remember the last time you prioritized yourself
• You feel guilty even thinking about your own desires

Gentle Reflection

Where have you drifted from your own voice or presence? What would it look like to gently reconnect with yourself—not through grand gestures, but through small moments of attention?

Why These Signs Are Often Missed

High achievers and caretakers are especially skilled at masking these subtle forms of stuck seasons. You're used to pushing through, showing up, and getting things done—even when you're running on empty. Traditional self-help advice often feels too harsh or prescriptive, leaving you feeling like you need to "fix" yourself to move forward.

But what if being in a stuck season isn't a flaw to fix, but sacred data—a gentle signal that it's time to honor your current season and capacity?

The hormonal, cognitive, and emotional shifts of midlife aren't obstacles to overcome. They're invitations to reassess, recalibrate, and reconnect with who you're becoming.

What You Can Do Right Now

You don't have to change everything to shift something. Small, intentional actions—what we call the "Power of Little"—can create space for clarity and reconnection:

For Autopilot Syndrome

Try: Set three "presence reminders" throughout your day. When your phone alarm goes off, pause for 30 seconds and notice: Where am I? What do I see, hear, feel? Am I here?

For Invisible Exhaustion

Try: Track your energy levels for one week without judgment. Note what depletes you and what restores you. You're gathering data, not fixing anything yet.

For Muted Joy

Try: Choose one tiny pleasure this week and engage with it fully for 5 minutes. Not as self-care homework, but as an experiment in noticing what still feels good.

For Overwhelm Paradox

Try: Ask yourself: "If I could only do three things today, what would actually matter?" Then give yourself permission to let the rest wait.

For Disconnection Drift

Try: Spend 10 minutes writing answers to: "Right now, I need..." and "Right now, I want..." No editing, no judgment. Just listening to what emerges.

Remember

Stuck seasons aren't failures. They're transitions. They're your body and mind signaling that something needs tending, that you're in between what was and what will be.

You don't have to leap. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin exactly where you are, with the capacity you have right now.

Small awareness creates lasting change. Gentle is still powerful. And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is acknowledge that you're navigating something hard—and treat yourself with the tenderness that deserves.

References

1. American Psychological Association (2023). Menopause and mental health: Understanding cognitive weariness and emotional exhaustion. https://www.apa.org/topics/women-girls/menopause
2. Haver, M.C., MD (2024). Research on perimenopause cognitive symptoms and autopilot functioning. The Galveston Diet resources.
3. World Health Organization (2019). Burn-out an "occupational phenomenon": International Classification of Diseases. https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
4. Anxiety and Depression Association of America (2024). Menopause and Mental Health: Understanding the Connection. https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/menopause-and-mental-health

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